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By the way.....


Copyright © 2016 by Cold Phoenix Publications

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no written works or other part of the 'Trapped With Her...Driven to may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, used or borrowed in ANY form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the author. Anyone who is found to have done so without the permission of the author will have broken the law and will be PROSECUTED (sued) to it's FULLEST extent fasho. Have fun!

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A Note from K......

Got a pretty nice email from K the other day.  We keep in touch on the regular.  But every now and then, he just writes some nice shit.  Kinda took me by surprise the other day with his email.  I'm always appreciative of peeps who seem to feel like reading my drama is somehow helpful.  Guess I'm not as dysfunctional as I thought.  Or, we are all just fucked up.....right?

Anyway, check it out.....

What's good, sir?
It's been good to catch up with you (in a sense) as you have been writing blogs about your trip to Ohio. Good stuff, dude.
Also, not trying to get sappy on you, but you really got me on the part where your son said "Thank you." I immediately thought back to some of our past conversations when I asked you "if given the chance, would you still go through everything with your wife?" So, I thought of that poem "The Road Not Taken" and the part where Frost says "I took the one less traveled by/And, that has made all the difference." Yeah, man....that specific story about your son "made all of the differecne for me" and gave a new life to some of our past conversations. It's funny because I re-read some of our emails. Even though it says the exact same thing, I got something different this time.
It's amazing how much I'm growing by just reading what you have to say man! Also, thanks for recommending that I read homeboy's blog "Mydloutlet." He seems to be able to capture a lot of the frustrations I'm feeling now and then some! From his entries, I've decided I need to pinpoint some specific areas in my life where I need to grow. It's hard to deal with these niggas and really not know what you want from them. I've found that part--the uncertainty part--is soooo damn, unsatisfying in the end. That's another conversation for another time, though...ha!
Other than that bro, how have you been? What's new in your life!
Thanks for lending an ear/eye/hand or whatever it is we do as email pen pals hahaha!
My response.....
Man.  Thanks for that.  When I started writing this blog, I was really just doing it for me.  I needed an outlet to say things I had never said.  I didn't expect to hear from others that my experiences and writing had such a profound effect on people.  I'm am blown and humbled.  I don't know that I expected to connect with some pretty good people on here as well.  It's refreshing to realize that I am not as abnormal as I initially thought. 

Thanks for checkin on a brutha.  The kids are doin well.  Gargamel hasn't run out of steam.  Shit is pretty much the same.  Talk to you soon.

Cold Phoenix

Monday, April 25, 2011

Road Trip to Ohio....Part 4

Finally made it back from Ohio.  My youngins had a blast.  Both of their teams played quite well, making it to the finals.  We took our time on the drive home from the airport.  I took them to dinner and an arcade.  Then, I picked up my daughter and took all of them to the movies.  A wonderful weekend.  In the words of my baby girl, they are the BEST.

I'm sure I'll be back with some coonfoolery from Gargamel very soon.


Saturday, April 23, 2011

Road Trip to Ohio....Part 3 (Quick Update)

So this is really just a brief followup to Part 2.  I am actually on my way to two more games.  Had to stop in the room to let my youngins get a nap before their 9 and 10 pm games tonight.  Ain't that some shit?  Anyway, my oldest must have gone to sleep last night, after a disappointing day, and got pissed.  His coach put him in today in his morning game and he showed da fuck off.  Layups, three pointers, steals, the whole nine!!.  I was beaming.  Even went over to coach (known him for years) and told him, "See what happens when you stop fukkin wit da Puerto Rican kids??" He laughed like shyt. 

My son looked at me on the way to the locker room and mouthed, "thanks".  That shit fucked me up all the way back on my ride to my younger kid's game. 

Just little things like that tell me that maybe they do get that I'm runnin for muuhfukkin father of the year every damn day.  After a couple of tears in the truck, I'm back at my other son's game and ready for some more QT with mis hijos.


Friday, April 22, 2011

Italia Blue Takes Dick Like A Pro -

Okay.....this was hot. Couldn't resist. A bitch can take some dick.

Italia Blue Takes Dick Like A Pro -

Road Trip to Ohio....Part 2 (They Have No Idea How Much I Love Them)...

So we arrived in Clevland safely.  No issues or drama.  Nothing to keep one's attention.  Got the boys to their respective coaches, registered them, checked into our hotel, and went to a couple of games with the coaches to do some scouting and observing.  My oldest son's team lost to the #2 team in the nation by 3 points.  We were disappointed, but proved that we belong here.  Niggas know who they are now.  It's on tomorrow.

No major action tonight.  Really into hangin with my boys.  But as I'm sitting here getting ready to turn in, I had a couple of things come to my mind.

While having children that are involved in any activity at a competitive level is pretty cool, there are some down sides as well.  I love traveling to these massive tournaments with my boys and watching them display their talents, get scouted, and have a great time.  But with each trip, each game, each tournament, I realize that the bond I have with them takes me through several emotional trips.

My oldest son didn't get a lot of playing time tonight.  And his team lost.  While I supported the team anyway, I hurt for my child.  Knowing the work and effort he puts into this shit, and watching his disappointment as he sat, unable to help his teammates, kinda fucked me up.  I have always been used to fixing things for them, a scratch or a sore, a chain that pops off of a bike, a science project.  This time, I can't.  There are things that he has to do to prove himself to his coach. Aside from encouraging him and taking him to every coach, camp, and combine I know, I have to let him find his way.  I have to let him learn some of life's lessons on his own.  Shit hurts though, when I know he's biting his lip, fighting back tears, because he wants to do well. 

Trips like this confirm within me the love that I have for my children.  I hurt when they reveal their hurt.  I hurt when they say nothing but I know that they have a right to hurt.  I love them with everything that's in me.  And I hope that they will one day come to know just how much that is.  Just got off the phone with my firstborn (he's staying with his team).  I sent him a text message after the game telling him that I'm proud of the way he handled himself, rooting for his team anyway, keeping his head up.  I told him that I am so proud of the young man he's becoming.  That lil SPIC called me tonight about midnight......just to say thanks. I think I was more excited to hear from him than he was.

At the end of the day, they are my world.  While I know I can't protect and shied them from everything, I do my best.  And the other things that they experience, I try to make sure I'm there to help them pick up the pieces when shit gets fucked up.  They have no idea how much I get fucked up on their behalf emotionally.  But it's worth every minute.

Well, can't smoke or drink (got the younger one with me).  So I guess talkin to ya'll raggedy fukkas was my nutt for the evening.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Road Trip to Ohio....Part 1

Well, it's that time again.  For the last couple of months, my boys have been hittin tournament after tournament.  AAU Basketball has been in effect for a few good months now.  But now that everyone is on Spring Break, the travel schedule is really getting intense.  I love this time of year.  My boys are doing their thing.  My baby girl just started tennis lessons.  I get to watch all of them in their element.  They are beasting out their grades and doin the damn thing athletically.  I love it!!

Tomorrow, we are on the road to Clevland/Akron.  I'm really excited about this, because BOTH of my boy's teams' schedules have some consistent tournaments.  Both of their teams are participating in the LeBron James Classic.  Funny.....Didn't know they allowed that muuhfukka's name to still be on anything in the damn state.  Oh well.  So tomorrow, we are on the plane to fly across the damn country to whup some ASS!!!  Gargamel will be here with my daughter, but I took this week off to spend the past four days with her.  We have been to Chuck E. Cheese (hate that fukkin place), skating, go-carting, and out for sushi (yeah, my baby girl is a lil upitty--LOL).  I have had the time of my life hanging with her while the boys have been at their practices.  But now, it's time.  We're all packed and leavin out at 5AM to issue some ass whuppins for a bunch of young muuhfukkas from all over the country.  We are Equal Opportunity Ass Whoopers.  Shit.  Don't matter where you're from.  We will fuck up a local nigga or a foreigner all the same.

So, for the next four days, look for updates, thoughts, and all of the regular shit that you get from me when I'm on travel (remember.....Christmas was a bitch).  One of the parents on this trip has been flirtin with a nigga.  The bitch is tight too.  So, I'm gonna do my best to behave......some kinda way (good or bad, I'm gonna behave).  But shit, my dawg Trey told me that I'm givin off pheromones that make da bitches and da niggas turn my way.  And my dude CoGito told me not to withhold the dick from someone who makes a resonable request.  It's a nigga's civic duty to get up in some this weekend.


Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I Was Wondering If I Can Suck........WTF????

I'd like to think that I'm a pretty good lookin brutha.  I try to keep my shit on point, dress like a nigga wit know.....try to stay on top of things.  But one thing I have never really had to deal with was a lot of attention, from males or females.  Maybe there was an occasional flirt at a bar, but not often.  I never got bombarded with a whole lotta people tryna get my attention, give me some pussy or some ass.....not never.

So I'm a bit blown by all of the unexpected attention I'm getting now that I'm well on my way to 40.  A muufukka is gettin all kinds of shit thrown at him......a number on a napkin, a drink bought for my by the lady at the end of the bar, niggas at the gym tryna hookup before the damn workout is even finished.  A nigga is gettin popular like shit!  And I'm not sure why.  Haven't done anything different.  Hell, sometimes I don't even make an effort to be on point.  On any given day, I might roll up to one of my favorite spots in some jeans and a hoody, a baseball cap (cause da shape up isn't together), and a scruffy ass beard, simply cause I don't have shit to prove.  And out of the muufukkin blue comes niggas and bitches that wanna give me some attention.  Skippin all over the pretty niggas in the room just to talk to my raggedy ass.  Kinda funny.

Just one example....

There's this little posh spot, not too far from where I live.  An Asian spot.  Sushi is great. In fact, the entire menu is the shit.  Bartenders are heavy-handed and drunk their damn selves (my kinda place).  I'm there a few times a week on the way home.  It's a great spot for networking, sociallizing, or getting a nice buzz before 6pm.  I roll up one day around 3:30pm.  Had taken off early and felt like some sushi.  I'm sittin at the bar, with my staple, Grey Goose n Cranberry, and a couple of different sushi rolls.  Juan, one of the bartenders, brings me another drink.  Now this is not uncommon.  A nigga is there all the time and I have great relationships with the staff there.  So I get a lotta free shit.  But DAYUM!  I had only committed about two sips to this first drink.  "This one's on her", Juan said, as he pointed to this woman sitting at a table behind me.  She had to be in her early 50's, but the girl was wearing it well.  A cross between Diane Carol and Lena Horne (ya'll young bitches don't know who the fukk they are--go to Wikepedia).  Ole girl was gorgeous.  I turned and thanked her for the gesture, which, of course, caused her to come and sit with my ass.

Andrea introduced herself to me and we began to make small talk for a few minutes.  She had a phat ass diamond on her finger, so I figured this would be short lived.  Typical married woman who is unhappy at home and wants to play a little.  Andrea looked me dead in the face and said, "I noticed that you're not wearing a ring." "I noticed that you are, so what's your point" was my response.  This bitch took the next 22 seconds and blew my ass away.  "Here's the deal.", she said.  "My husband is very good to me, and he takes good care of this pussy.  But I love to suck dick.  And he's not always feelin that.  Most of the time he just wants to fuck.  Sooooo, I'm wondering if we can just get to know each other a bit, and I can suck YOUR  dick whenever I'm feelin that need."


Now, I have to reserve another entry to discuss why her husband doesn't like sloppy top.  Is it her skills or is something wrong with her?  Another time.  A nigga was blown that this fine, regal woman had just approached me and asked if we could have regularly scheduled sessions where all she would do is buy me a few drinks and suck me off.  Andrea told me not to answer right then, but to think about it.  We enjoyed some more likka and convo.  I see her about once a week.  She sends me a drink and we chat about everything....her husband, her business, the little things that I reveal to her.  And then that's it.  We go our separate ways.  I haven't gone through with it yet.  Seems like she's slow walkin a brutha down though.  But I'm feeling like it's the least I can do.  She's feelin some kinda way.  Who am I to deny her a phat dick to suck????

Whacha think?

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Rock and Creamz -

Nothin to say. A nigga is speechless. Aiight. Off to church.
Check it out.

Rock and Creamz -

Monday, April 4, 2011

Check Out 'In the Closet, Out of My Damn Mind!!

So the reality is that I am a fan of a number of blogs.  Some for the pics and the videos.  Many for the positions people take on issues.  A few because they encourage me and confirm that I'm not the only fucked up nigga out there with skeletons, baggage and shit.  When I come across a blog that is raw, refreshing, hot, intelligent, and thought provoking, I gotta give a nigga or a bitch the appropriate amount of props. 

This pic is from his page, NOT HIM.   Nosey bitches.  LOL

Having said that, let me officially put on blast this lil young muufukka, who goes by the name of Trey.  He's barely old enough to buy his ass his own muufukkin drank (see got company), but the lil nigga can write.  And he's got some real shit that he deals with.  All of ya'll folks with DL hate n shit......give him a minute to get a few posts under his belt before ya'll start fukkin with him.  But just know that he has a sharp ass tongue, and MIGHT just get yo azz together.

Check em out.

In the Closet, Out of My Damn Mind!!

Cold Phoenix

And Now You're Pissed........REALLY????

I have seen a lot of shit in my life.  I have to be honest, there aren't too many things that surprise me anymore.  I am never blown away when people completely change their minds after making a commitment.  I am never shocked when folks finally decide to reveal other shit about themselves that I already guessed.  And I am certainly not taken by surprise when someone comes clean about skeletons that they have been struggling with for years.  I can relate.

I will say this though.  For the first time, I think I was surprised as shyt by Gargamel and her reaction to me after her last stunt.  Don't have time for a detailed recapitulation (go back one post to "So.......What Would You Have Done?").  "RECAPITULATION"......yeah.....a nigga got a couple degrees.

I'm just thinkin that you can't tell me that you wanna get fukked, but you don't want it from me (whether you meant to say it that way or not), and then be salty when a nigga doesn't take you up on your jacked up offer.  REALLY????

A couple of issues to consider here:

We haven't fukked in.......shit, I don't really know.
We barely communicate, outside of doing what we gotta do for the kids.
We are trying to remain civil until I can get the fukk outta here.

So, I'm kinda laughin to myself.  Either Gargamel tried in a fucked up way to say she wanted to fuck, or she is still the silly bitch I'm accustomed to dealing with.  I choose B.

Your thoughts??